Alone

I dream about you all the time. You, the only two people who ever really gave a damn about me. Oh, I have friends... well, I have many acquaintances. I can count my real friends on less than five fingers. Few in number they may be, but they are loyal... more loyal than I deserve. Every dream is different. You each die a different death. But the end result is always the same.

I'm only existing now. Stuck living with a "father" who respects me so little, who hates me so much, that he does everything he can to up my misery quotient. He knows that I'm in a tight spot. I moved in to his home to do his job for him, to take care of his mother so that he wouldn't have to be bothered with it. I've never really felt as though I were welcome there, though. After all, wasn't I pawned off on you both when it was apparent to him that a kid would cramp his style? And now, with his worthless girlfriend having insinuated herself into the living arrangements since the death of his mother, it seems as though everything possible is being done to run me out of the house and onto the street of my own volition, so he can save face among those who may still be watching.

I've never minded the "pawning off," though. You two were the best parents anyone could have had. I learned more from you both than from anyone else, damn near. My only regret is that you both died without being proud of me. I apologize for that. If it's any consolation, I will probably die without being proud of myself. I will die without having left any lasting mark on the world or anyone in it. I will die as I was born- anonymous.

I will die as I have lived since you both went away.

Alone.